Darkest days of my career

I said in my last blog that this has been one of the hardest periods in my footballing career and I must say a big thank you to the friends, family and team-mates who helped me through the hard times. There were low points, almost bordering on depression at times, but their support kept me positive and focused on getting through it and playing again. It was a long rehabilitation but I had two gym partners that used to go through the same routines with me everyday. That helped a lot and we became good friends through it.

The fact I was at Luton at the time and the club was in such difficulty made it even harder. I could only look on as events off the field took their toll on the pitch. Even the boys who were playing found it hard to focus. And I´m sure the money situation played a part in that. To be told that you were not going to be paid for an indefinite period when you have mortgage payments to make and a family to look after is difficult in any profession.

I´d like to stay I´m still in contact with a lot of people at the club but only Keith Keane and Dean Brill are still there. We speak from time to time but I don´t have the same connection as I have with QPR, where I spent most of my career.

I still have strong links with Loftus Road and I really hope for the fans that it works out the right way. New owners are coming into football a lot and not all of them have the club´s best intentions at heart. I hope they do at QPR. It´s not a big-time club like Chelsea, it´s more of a family club. You have the same people going to Loftus Road now as have been going for years and it´s those kind of people who make up the backroom staff as well. As long as they keep those people at the club happy they should be OK.